Monday 31 May 2010

Assumed indolent

Not idle but creatively pent up.

Excuses and reasons:
  • pregnancy resulting in physical disability
  • motherhood is a full-time job and they weren't joking
  • MA at inferior institution leading to an average (rather than stellar) grade as a result of above
  • back to work (lots of time to read, think, daydream but no time to act or create)
  • sleep broken every night between 2 - 4 hours at a time (now at almost 11 months of sleep deprivation)
  • seem to fall ill with bloody flu viruses when I have time off
  • relationship "issues" sapping self-belief
  • delay in realising finished material outcomes sapping self-belief
  • redefinition of self in light of motherhood
BUT plenty of time to scheme and plan and worry and think and research

Conclusion:
  • new work must be started now
  • blog as sketchbook and taxonomic resource for ideas and interests
  • blog essays for article submissions
  • blog reviews and analysis
  • less relationship more creative endeavour
  • avante-garde "art into life" approach
  • broken sleep as meditation / visualisation tool
  • enjoy process of redefinition
  • research can be done at work
  • take work seriously but not oneself


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